


Missed Opportunity

by TinCanTelephone



Series: From Tumblr, With <3 [17]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Carrie Fisher references, Crack, Diego Luna references, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, Teasing, discussions of Jabba the Hutt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 09:32:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15482802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinCanTelephone/pseuds/TinCanTelephone
Summary: Cassian's not obsessed with Jabba, you're obsessed with Jabba. And stop laughing, Jyn!Or, Leia returns from Tatooine after saving Han from carbonite and Cassian has some questions.





	Missed Opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> Someone (*cough* @melanoradrood *cough*) mentioned this idea on discord and I was like LOL yeah someone should write that.
> 
> And then I DID. I don't know how I let myself get talked into these things…

As soon as he heard the Millennium Falcon was on its way back to Home I, Cassian put aside the KX parts he’d been tinkering with and walked back to the hangar. He slipped behind the crowd already awaiting the return of the Princess, the smuggler, and his wookiee and did his best to stick to the shadows. 

Not that he didn’t care about their safe return, he just didn’t want Jyn to see him because she would inevitably ask,

“What’re you doing here?”

_Fuck_. 

Jyn sidled up to his left, chewing loudly on a protein bar and smirking. “I thought you said it was a waste of time to go after that, ‘no-good low-life son of a nerfherder.’” 

Cassian crossed his arms. He had said that, although in his defense he’d been more than a little drunk and from the way Jyn had been laughing, he’d been hoping she wouldn’t remember. It was a rather ungenerous description of Luke, Leia, and Chewbacca’s display of friendship, but he’d never really warmed up to the smuggler and couldn’t muster much enthusiasm at the prospect of his return. 

Jyn leaned against the wall next to him and dug her elbow into the soft part of his waist. “Experience a change of heart?”

“No.” He didn’t even want to talk to Solo. He just had a question for Leia. That’s all. 

“Decide you really care about Han after all? Should I be worried?”

Cassian couldn’t dignify that one with a response. 

But Jyn realized he was a captive audience and only grinned wider as she shoved the rest of the protein bar into her mouth. “Do you plan to fight the Princess over him? I heard they declared their love for each other in Cloud City and shared a passionate kiss before he was lowered into carbonite.”

“That seems unlikely.”

She shrugged. “Kes said he heard it from Saani, who heard it from Jett, who heard it from Soryn who speaks Shyriiwook and got it direct from Chewbacca.” 

Only his years of intelligence training kept his face blank and eyes straight ahead, glued on the entrance to the hangar. He didn’t even tap his feet, although he was getting rather impatient. Where was that damn ship? 

Jyn ribbed him for a little while longer, then seemed to get bored and started talking about Pathfinder drama, her default when she knew he was only half listening. Per tradition, he half listened until the Falcon came careening into the hangar and they both moved forward with the rest of the crowd. 

After making way for the medics and a few members of the council, he maneuvered his way to the front, where Leia, dressed in what had to be a set of Luke’s clothes, was waving away medics and snapping at C3PO. 

She brightened a bit when she saw him. “So I assume the Rebellion is still running?”

“Like a dream.” He stepped forward and glanced around. For the most part, the crowd was giving them a wide-ish berth and he could speak in relative privacy if he kept his voice low. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course.” She tugged at the shirt, slowly slipping off one shoulder. 

Cassian glanced down. 

She shook her head. “Long story. What did you want to talk about?”

Cassian shifted his weight, suddenly nervous. He considered backing down, thinking of something else to say instead, but the real question wouldn’t leave his mind. He  _had_  to know. “You… you saw Jabba, didn’t you? When you were rescuing him?” He nodded towards Han, yelling at the medics that he didn’t need their fussing, thank you very much. 

Leia grimaced. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Sorry, it’s just… did you ever, well,  _touch_  him?”

Leia snorted. “Did I!” 

She looked so disgusted there was definitely more to that story but Cassian would hear it later. He leaned forward. “So you did?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, Andor, I definitely did. Why are you interrogating me about it?”

Cassian swallowed and took a breath. “I just want to know… how he felt.”

“How  _Jabba_  felt?”

“Yeah.”

She was looking at him like he’d grown a second head. “I don’t know… squishy?”

“ _Just_  squishy? What about the… the texture?”

Leia shrugged. “Lumpy, I guess? Cold?”

“Cold and clammy like, moist– or cold and dry? And lumpy like thick porridge or lumpy like a bad mattress?”

“Uh… moist I guess. Not  _slimy_ , but definitely not dry. And… thick porridge.” She shook her head. “What are you talking about? I’ve just been traumatized here!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Cassian took a step back and tried to tell himself he was satisfied with that answer. He gave her another once-over. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine.” She fiddled with Luke’s shirt again. “Just need some new clothes.” She stepped away, where Han was being taken (rather against his will) to the medbay. 

“Wait.”

“What is it?”

“He’s… still on Tatooine, right?” Cassian passed Tatooine on a semi-regular basis. If he had time after a mission he could stop by. It wouldn’t take too long…

Leia gave a shout of laughter. “In a manner of speaking.”

“What does that mean?”

She cocked her head and looked him dead in the eyes. “I was captured and he made me wear a stupid outfit. I strangled him because I didn’t like it.” Then she spun on her heel and walked away. 

Cassian, taken completely by surprise for the second time that day, stood rooted to the ground in shock. 

He only turned when he heard Jyn laughing behind him. “I believe that’s princess for  _Fuck you_.”

He glowered and began to push his way through the crowd back to the droid bay. 

Jyn trotted after him. She came up beside him once they were clear. “I’m sorry her answer wasn’t good enough. And I suppose it’s too bad you can’t see for yourself.” She patted his elbow. “But don’t worry, I’m sure there are other hutts out there.”

He stared at her, and she kept a straight face for all of two seconds before bursting into peals of laughter. He glared and began walking away, but that only made her laugh harder, until she was bent double and leaning against the wall. 

The sound didn’t fade until he’d turned two corners. 

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, when he saw her again that night she seemed to have forgotten about it. Then he crawled into bed next to her and slid an arm around her waist.

She made a choked sound through her nose, then giggled into her pillow. 

He stiffened. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” But her voice was high and breathy and with one hand on her ribs he could feel her diaphragm spasm with repressed laughter. 

“Stop it.”

She burst out laughing again, this time so hard she had to wipe away tears with her fingers. “I’m– so– sorry– it’s just–” She couldn’t even finish the sentence. 

Deciding he’d finally had enough, Cassian pushed up onto his elbows and pulled her under him. His head dipped down to her collarbone and he began kissing a line up her throat, to her jaw and the place under her ear that always made her groan. 

Her laughter died down and he smirked against her skin. 

“No fair, you’re distracting me,” she whined.

He nipped her earlobe. “Complaining?”

She slid her fingers up his sleep shirt. “Not at all.”

But when he started kissing her neck again a few more giggles slipped out, so he skipped right to her lips. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Original Tumblr Post](https://cats-and-metersticks.tumblr.com/post/176357770630/this-is-crack)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading/comments/kudos!! 
> 
> I'm on tumblr- [cats-and-metersticks](https://cats-and-metersticks.tumblr.com/)


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